Hello! A quick update: I have a new job in an office, home is okay even though I have zero friends in Kent. Oh, and I’m awful at maths.
Today marks three weeks of being home, well only 2 if we disgard my little trip to Reading Festival. Last week I got a new job in a corporate office which is what I wanted to be honest, to have actual structure and no faffing with samples is literally the dream. It’s less pay, but less stress and I can actually have a life around work which to me is invaluable.
Coming home has been hard, after Reading Festival I got very, very depressed. I always knew post-travel blues was a thing, but I didn’t expect it to hit me quite as hard as it did. You know when you’re looking through your contacts and realise that all of your friends are hundreds and thousands of miles away? Yeah. That. I knew coming home would be hard because I haven’t lived in Kent for 6 years and I was never particularly popular in school. I knew I’d have to rebuild and attempt to make friends as an adult, but the thing is: I’m scared.
I feel like a complete freak being in my hometown and surrounded by absolutely no one that I know. I thought I’d have friends, or at the very least my closest friend reach out and ask if I was free for a catch-up, but nope. Nothing. Adjusting to living with my family is also very strange – I cannot remember the last time I had to tell my mum where I was going or what I planned to do for the day. It’s strange and I feel like I’ve already had the peak of my life and it’s all downhill from here.
I’m not really sure what direction I’m going in anymore. My heart is screaming at me to move to Reading because my good friend Samii bought a house there with her boyfriend and I have all of my old work pals there too, including my old housemate Jess. But I just don’t know. I applied for a lot of jobs in that area but they’re either paying too little to justify relocating, or I haven’t heard back at all. I’m also not really one to go to the same place twice and I would hate if I ever saw him with another girl. I mean I’m not an idiot, obviously it’s happening, but in my head I’d rather just pretend it’s not.
I applied for an amazing job which would involve spending 2 years at different locations all over the UK, but I completely stuffed up the maths test yesterday. I don’t really get those psychometric tests, I mean I did maths every single day in my previous job and it was absolutely fine. One of the questions was in German and about aeroplane parts (both two completely irrelevant things to the job at hand) and whilst I speak German, I cannot speak aeroplane. Stressful.
Maybe I’ll look back on this post in a year a laugh all the way from New Zealand or wherever the wind has taken me. I guess it’s quite exciting in a weird way, to not have ties to anywhere. I’m free.