Tomorrow I leave Thailand after a month of exploring. To be honest I don’t know what I expected when I boarded my flight from Melbourne to Bangkok, but it wasn’t what I’ve experienced. I’ve found myself in places and situations that I never really imagined could happen in Thailand and I’ve seen things that I never expected to see over here. It sounds silly, but I imagined Thailand to have pristine beaches and sand to envy even the beautiful beaches of Australia but was left bitterly, bitterly disappointed by the littered beaches across the mainland and all of the islands I visited. Whilst I know tourism undoubtably is the cause behind all of the litter, I wish 7/11 would stop giving you straws for everything. Yoghurt? You need a straw. Noodles? Straw. Tea? Straw. It’s insane and unnecessary and WHY are there never any bins anywhere? It’s very bizarre and something I can’t quite comprehend. Another thing I never expected was all of the pollution from the bikes – I had some insane vision in my head of all the stars I’d be able to see in the night sky and you know how many you can see here? Four. Four stars.
Anyway disappointments aside, the absolute highlight for me has been Pai where I let go of all my negative energies (and negative people) whilst staring out the back of an open taxi completely in awe of the rolling hills and scenery, and in that instant I felt lighter. I found myself in the winding roads of Pai, in the bakeries and in the street food (where I accidentally had purple looking meat in a veggie spring roll and was ill for two days, but I digress). I would of loved to have spent longer here and I’d definitely revisit if I’m ever in Thailand again. Pai was the turning point for me, where I realised how much I’ve changed as a person since January because I had time to sit and reflect on so many things and met some wonderful people.
I won’t lie however, I am extremely excited to be back in Australia in an English speaking country with the ability to cook for myself. I’ve booked possibly the cheapest Aussie hostel I’ve ever stayed in for my return to Brisbane so I’m hoping it won’t be too disgusting – I’m excited to have my phone working again and ring round some temp agencies whilst trying to find farmwork with my friend Kim. I’m honestly so scared for the future and it’s hard not knowing where you will be in a few days, a week or a year, but I finally have a plan in place and I know what I want. I want to get my second year visa and have the option to come back to Australia in the new year after spending a few months at home to see my family and sit in my favourite chair, with my cats and with my favourite mug filled with strong tea.
It’s weird but I find it really odd when I imagine going home. Like yes I would love to go home, of course I would, but I’m not done yet. I miss my family, having my own personal space, clothes(!), not having to budget like a mad woman and just feeling as though I have my life together. I am so bored of wearing the same sweaty t-shirts and asking everyone I meet their name and where they’ve been. It’s silly but it’s tiring.