Today marks one month since I got on my flight to Australia, but it honestly feels like I’ve been here for far longer. I couldn’t even begin to tell you all of the great things I’ve seen and done in such a short space of time. My life has been non-stop travelling and activities with no down-time to just be which I must admit gets a little hectic sometimes.
Currently I’m in Brisbane and I love it, the high-rise offices overlooking the river gives me that same rush of excitement as being trampled in the London rush hour. The thing is, you cannot get a good office job as a backpacker. There is no work here, so tomorrow I’m heading to Noosa for two weeks. I have no accommodation, nothing. The travelling life makes me feel so uneasy and unsettled. I’ve always needed a strict routine and structure to my day, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t struggling with not having a 9-5 job and a stable home. It is hard packing up your bag every few days to move to a new city and attempt to find your feet all over again.
What’s even harder than an unsettled life is feeling like you do not actually belong anywhere. When your best friends and family are half the world away and you only have dirty clothes and a towel to your name – it’s hard to know who you are and what you’re even doing here. I have some days where I feel like I’m on top of the world, from holding Milo the koala to camping out under the Milky Way; however some days like today I find myself sat on the river bank looking out onto Brisbane CBD and feeling like an insignificant dot in a crazy city.
It’s hard to think about what I gave up to come out here. I had pretty much everything and I still was not content. I had a great paying job, a lovely rented home, a deposit for a house – I could buy anything I wanted because I could afford it and knew when all my next pay days were. When you’re travelling you literally have no idea when or even if you’ll get a job. It’s things like this that make me insanely anxious and unsure of what lies ahead.
Tomorrow I’m quite literally throwing myself into the wind and seeing where I end up staying in Noosa. Wish me luck!